Sincerely, Sarah

Sarah Muir
MSM Class of 2018

(8/2018) I am not sure if I can consider myself to be any wiser now that I have navigated the world outside higher education for about two and a half months, but I have been tasked to give rising seniors advice. I think if I were to give you a speech that contained the classic, "study hard and have fun, but not too much," with a metaphorical wink and a nudge, I would be being doing you a kind of disservice. I want to be of more use to you; to give you advice that you can use now and in the life ahead of you. Instead, I’ll give you a mixed bag of advice to help you with work and school and your life outside those two activities, because you should have a life outside work and school. Some of the advice has been learned through the observation of others, while the rest is advice I should have taken years ago.

Don’t plan everything, and what plans you have, let them have places where they bend, or you will be in store for a lifetime of stress and worry. However, as an avid procrastinator, I advise that you place some planning in the papers ahead of you and mark the due date in your calendar a week before it’s due, so at least you have a bit more room to breathe.

"Try your hardest," might sound trite, but it’s true. Work hard and impress your bosses, professors and peers, but be careful because sometimes love, eagerness, and ability are taken advantage of, and people will eat up your time in order to conserve their own. Learn to say "No," both bluntly and delicately, because you can only do so much, and people are a lot more accepting of this than you realize.

For both the responsibilities you take on and for those that are thrust upon you, own up to your successes and failures. It is more honorable to be a person who understands their culpability than one who tries to place that burden on someone else.

In everything we do there is a choice and it’s better you learn that now than later. The actions you take as well as the actions you don’t will be weighed and judged by yourself, by God, by a jury of your peers, and by the universe. You should know that even if the decision you made was a poor one, you can apologize, fix what you can, and move on; and know that this is the best any of us can do. Don’t lose sleep over the past or the future; one, because sleep is important (there’s no shame in the occasional nap, in fact I endorse such activities), and two, because you can do nothing to change the past, and the future can only be controlled to a certain degree.

Like I said before, work hard. Certainly, money isn’t everything and it certainly isn’t happiness, but it does help. Just don’t count your wealth as gold; count it as health, experiences and imperishable relationships. Your family is more than blood and the time and memories with them should be collected as kindling to keep you warm when you find yourself in strange, new, and sometimes cold places.

Your friends should be chosen wisely. From a mixture of observation and personal experience, I advise you to strive for quality, not quantity. After all, your friends reflect who you are and influence you as much as you influence them. You should still be on friendly, or at the very least, civil terms with all people (an extraordinarily tall order, I know). You’ll have to live and work besides all sorts--even the people who irritate you. I have found no way to circumvent this. However, even if you are sweeter than a hummingbird’s beak, don’t be surprised if people still don’t like you. I’m sorry to be the one that tells you this, but you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. People will judge you and compare your successes and failures to theirs, it’s what we do. Don’t take this to heart, and trust in the words of the great 20th century philosopher, Dr. Seuss, "those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind".

To be interesting at parties, you must have good stories. For this you must travel and as much as possible and meet people with interesting stories. And in traveling and meeting people you have access to a wealth of opportunities! I am not saying that you must travel the world (however, if your budget permits this, please do), but I am saying that even the shortest journey is an adventure. Go on a road trip to a state over, even a city over and make it an experience. As my grandfather has said on many expeditions involving winding back roads, "any road will get you somewhere". So, travel, a lot, but make sure to carve out of this world a small quiet place for yourself that you can call "home".

On more general advice: give excellent gifts (not always on the days they are expected), have a hobby (or two), Alka-Seltzer and water can help remove stains, if you’re not hungry for dinner have dessert, have a basic toolbox when you move out on your own, add butter to anything and it will taste better, take lots of pictures and print them out, learn at least one recipe by heart, and if you want to beat someone at hangman use the word "Zephyr".

I know my advice sounds like I’ve plagiarized from fortune cookies, but it’s all I can manage in a thousand or so words. The most important thing I can tell you is that you can listen to advice, but this does not make you obliged to follow it. Take what works and use it, then change it until you have your own piece of wisdom to pass on.

Read other articles by Sarah Muir