Mary Angel

(July, 2012) Have you ever had one of those days when everything irritates you? Guess what, I am in the middle of one. I had the pleasure of driving three and a half hours home from the eastern shore with 3 sick children, 4 whining children, 2 weepy children, 4 sleepy children and 1 car sick child (there were only actually 4 kids in the car but it felt like more with these statistics). So this month I am going to be one of those whiny hormonal women you only read about in novels, or grow to dislike in a weekly made-for-television movie. I am going to ask those questions that others have thought but do not have the nerve to ask. Then I am going to finish my article and move on – it is like journalistic therapy!

My first question, after my weekend away, would have to be, "Did you leave your brains, common sense and courtesy at home when you left for vacation?" This weekend I went to visit my parents near Ocean City, MD. People drove like there was no one else on the road, cutting off any car that got in their way. People jay walked without concern for their safety or more importantly the safety of their children. I am pretty sure I saw at least one person break every known traffic law in the state of Delaware! Put aside the danger they are putting themselves and others in, do they really think they are the only ones who dislike being stuck in bumper to bumper traffic? Oh wait, that is another question. And one more question in this same genre would have to be, "just because there is no more parking space, do you really think it is a good idea to create one? Especially, creating a parking space that blocks in 20 other cars?

Please understand that the things that irritate me aren’t always rational. And this brings me to my next (and exceptionally irrational) question, "After two nights of "sleeping" on the couch (with two of my restless kids "sleeping" next to me on sleeping bags) are you seriously telling me there are going to be thunder storms all night?" My kids already have nightmares, sleepwalk, night terrors, and talk in their sleep. Now, on top of that we are going to add one more factor to keep them awake? Really? Talk about an exceptionally long night.

Now for my final question, "If I offer to take you to lunch, do you think it is a good idea to get into an argument with one another over where that lunch will be?" My husband and I have tried hard not to raise selfish, spoiled children. However, that doesn’t mean they aren’t human, nor does it mean we have succeeded (I just said tried). So after driving an hour and a half I offer lunch to my kids, the same 14 in the statistics above. Immediately the car is in a split decision. While I am driving, I am listening to the arguments for both sides and listening to their voices grow louder. At this point I attempt to make a suggestion. This falls way short of bringing a compromise and only further escalates the problem, because apparently I was taking sides. The irony here is that both sides felt I was taking the side of the opposite team. As I pulled the van over and went into full-blown-hormonal-I-have-had-enough-mommy, two of the kids sense the imminent danger and proceed to try and compromise. The problem is not only a little too late, but by switching sides the two have just traded places and it is still a stalemate of two against two. At this point sink to a new low and threaten to deny them lunch all together, and consequently my one son make matters worse by announcing he wouldn’t eat anyway. After a lengthy lecture on being selfish and not looking a gift horse in the mouth I announce that we are going where I want to go. Lunch went slightly better than the car ride and we were home in another two hours (give or take).

When I got home I realized that one of the movies I had rented from the library did not actually have a movie in it, so we will see how that turns out. I got the mail and found out a deposit I thought had gone through, didn’t and I had over drawn. The patch we put on the new liner of our swimming pool (the same pool we had to replace the liner in on the first year we moved in, and the pump the second) was working but the pool had turned green while we were gone. The kids spilled a red Icee in my car, my vacuum broke, it appears my transmission might go up sooner than later and I am out of estrogen and calgon!!!

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