Mary Angel

(4/2021) … but still difficult.

Last month, I revisited the idea of which career path was the more difficult one: returning to work after having a baby or becoming a stay-at-home mom. I decided to revisit that idea for many reasons, one being that with the current situation the world is in, many moms are being forced to change careers due to no fault of their own…I was one of them. This made the decision easier and harder at the same time.

A few years ago, I decided to go back to work part-time. It was a way for me to bring in a little extra money for field trips and fun with the kids while still remaining a stay-at-home mom. It also allowed me the opportunity to get my feet wet in the working world I had been separated from for so very long. I had read so many articles about how no one wants to hire a mom who has been out of the workforce for 20 years and I thought in the not-so-distant future my babies would all be in school or off living on their own and now was the time to dabble. So, I took a job as a file clerk/scanning clerk/organizer/girl Friday for a local company. I usually worked no more than 10 hours a week and usually closer to 6. My hours were extremely flexible, and the work was relaxing for me.

Fast forward to April of 2020 and I get a letter in the mail explaining that I was being let go because of the pandemic. The letter went on to explain that it was a matter of head count in the building and blah blah blah. It all made sense and was completely understandable and of no surprise to me. Jump 2 weeks ahead and my husband gets a phone call (did I mention we worked for the same company, him just a full-time employee?). He was informed that he was being furloughed by his company. Although we were caught off guard, this announcement was also very understandable. Let’s face it: the world was in a pandemic and companies were shutting down right and left. Every month or so after that, he would get a phone call telling him the furlough was extended. That is until the phone call that brought our world crashing down. One day when the girls and I were out riding around my husband called and asked us to come home. My husband’s company had called to say that corporate was terminating his position across the country. This is when we knew it was time for a change.

My husband had graduated from seminary about six years ago and had wanted to go into full-time ministry, but that wasn’t in the cards financially until the kids went back to school and I returned to work full-time. With no one having a job in the house (except for the kids) my husband and I both started job-searching. As I was looking on "Indeed" for my daily influx of potential job sites, I received a text from a friend of mine who asked if I would by any chance like to work with her. She was getting a promotion and her job was available. I jumped at the chance (jumped through a couple interview hoops) and finally got the job. This was a true answer to prayers, but also somehow sad and scary at the same time.

As I began a new chapter in my life as a working mom I struggled frequently with sadness and guilt and excitement and sometimes all at the same time. All the while my husband continued to look for a new job to replace an over 30-year career in the food industry. Then one day I noticed a pastor position on the "Indeed" website and told him about it. Very quickly they had him do an interview and within a couple months there were more interviews and then he was asked to preach for the congregation so they could vote on him for the position. He was offered the job and was finally able to put his degree into practice the way he had wanted for so many years. Again, our family was blessed. However, as much as I was feeling blessed for my husband, I was still struggling with the decision to return to work full-time.

This was obviously an easy decision for me…go back to work…or don’t pay your mortgage. A no brainer is what some people would call this. Then, to have a job dropped in my lap, how lucky can I be. Yet, that isn’t how I felt. Sometimes the decision to be a working mom or a stay-at-home mom is an obvious one, but maybe not always the one we want. For example, when I became a stay-at-home mom it was soon after I gave birth to my second son and we realized we were putting almost my entire salary towards daycare. This was a no brainer, but luckily for me it was exactly what I wanted, and I have loved every minute of it (well, almost every minute). Every time I would start to get a little more comfortable with the decision and the job, we would shut down and work from home. I loved being home and seeing my family more, but when it was time to return to the office, I struggled all over again.

Fast forward to March when I am once again starting to get with the swing of things and my family (the ones accused of being too careful during Covid) contracts, you guessed it, Covid. So once again, I am working from home and as the days go by, I find it more and more difficult to return to this wonderful blessing of a job I have been given. That kind of emotional roller coaster can take its toll on you no matter who you are. I know I will return when I am able, and I know as time goes by, I will once again get into the swing of things at my work. Being a mom is always amazing, but rarely easy so hang in there and try to find joy in what ever situation you find yourself in during these crazy times. I know it can be challenging, but you are not alone.

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