Mary Angel
(4/2023) More Hearts Than Mine is a country song, by Ingrid Andress, that my daughters introduced me to. We started going for drives during the pandemic. The girls loved this because they got to take turns playing DJ. This song makes me cry every time I hear it. There is just something about the lyrics that tugs at my heart.
The song begins with a young girl explaining to her boyfriend that she is looking forward to showing him around her home town. At this point in the song, I am simply smiling because I know my older daughter has shown her most recent "boyfriend" around our town. It wasn’t that he lived that far away, but he didn’t know some of the short cuts she knew. I could also picture my youngest going away to college and returning home for us to meet her first boyfriend (yes, I said first). She is the baby, so in my mind she will start dating when she is about 25 or 30 years old. Still, no tears, but my mind is starting to think about them dating "the one".
Next, she tells the boy in the song that he should bring a shirt for church, because they will go. This couldn’t be any truer for us if I said it myself. Now I might be getting a little misty because I want my girls to meet someone who shares their belief system. My husband and I love our time mentoring young couples through a Bible study at our church, and I want all my kids to find this same joy with their spouses. I also love that she follows this up with they will have to sleep in separate bedrooms. Some of my friends find it a little prudish that I would NEVER allow my daughters (or sons for that matter) to share a bedroom with anyone but their spouses! I am an old-fashioned mom, and this is a hill I will plant my flag in.
As the song progresses, she explains how the trip will go. Her father will check the boy’s tires and take him fishing, her sister will ask him a bunch of questions and try to embarrass him. This is where I am starting to lose it. The dad in this song reminds me of my dad, simply because my dad would do exactly that. It also gets the water works started because I look so forward to having a wonderful relationship with my daughters and their someday husbands.
The sister acts exactly how I have seen my baby girl act with every boy her sister has brought home, whether a love interest or just a friend. She really puts them to the test, as she is extremely protective of her sister. My eyes are beginning to fill up a little further as I think about my girls and their boyfriends/husbands going to dinner together or having a family game night or the four of them going on vacation and having the best time of their lives. I should point out that these are tears of joy.
In the song Ingrid Andress repeatedly mentions that the mom falls in love faster than she does. This turns out to be me, although I would have denied it when my kids reached the age of dating. It is not necessarily the young men that I am falling love with specifically. It is more the idea of my girls (for the sake of this song) finding someone who will love them unconditionally, someone who can be there best friend and build them up when they are feeling less than. I envision them being with someone who is there ultimate cheer leader and protector, with a dash of comedic relief.
So, every time they bring a boy home, I fall in love with the idea of what he might be. I should probably mention this was not the case when my oldest was in 8th grade, as I believe in most cases that is more of a puppy love. She might argue that, since a broken heart is a broken heart. Now that she is older, I can definitely admit, I fall in love with the thought of her finding love, happiness, and a lifetime of memories. Okay, that’s it, that’s what brings on a full-fledged bawling (in fact I am crying thinking about it). So far, my oldest daughter has not had good luck with guys. In fact, I am not sure she would know what to do if a guy treated her well. It breaks my heart to think that is where she is at.
I don’t believe the song title is just talking about the mom’s heart being one of the "more hearts". I believe it is also referring to the sister. I remember when my oldest daughter had an interest in a boy from church. He came to her high school graduation party, he would stop over for dinner unannounced, and he would literally watch television with us for hours on end. He was always joking with her sister and offering to play games or teach her how to do things. Although my daughter and him never actually dated, her younger sister kept pushing for him to be "the one".
When they both moved on to date other people, my baby was all but devastated. She apparently had fallen in love with the idea of him being around, and maybe even part of the family. She had to learn that relationships don’t always work out the way we want, and just because she thought he was the perfect guy for her sister, didn’t mean her sister would see it that way.
My husband luckily doesn’t fall hard. Although he is looking forward to having a relationship with our kids that is a lot like the one we had with his parents, and still have with my parents, he does not hope for it too early in the relationship. He likes to take his time getting to know the boys that come to the house. He is also a little more scrutinous of the boys that want to date his daughters. I am actually worries for the youngest, I am not sure he isn’t on the internet shopping for a tower to lock her in until she is at least 25.
That being said, I think most moms just want their kids to find happiness and fall in love with someone who treats them like they deserve to be treated, someone who loves them in a "until death do us part" kind of a way. So the next time you hear a song that makes you cry tears of joy or tears of sadness over your children, remember you are not the only one crying!
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