Mary Angel
(11/2023) I recently had the opportunity to go to a conference with my husband in Virginia Beach. Never having been to that beach I was pretty excited. I assumed, you know what that means, that he would go to his conference for work, and I would do a little Christmas shopping, relax, and maybe take a walk or two on the beach. As I already used the word assumed, you can guess that our trip went nothing like that.
When he first told me we would be going away to Virginia Beach I was so excited. I can’t stand the beach in the summer, as I do not like to bake in the sun and am extremely prone to sunburn with my pasty skin tone. The beach in the fall is a completely different story, I LOVE IT! Long walks on the beach when it isn’t crowded or hot is a dream come true. I enjoy the sand between my tones, the sound of the waves, the quiet uninterrupted time to think and ponder all of the wonders of the universe…Heaven! Although I am not a huge reader, because I fall asleep the minute I open a book, I had decided I was going to give it another try. I started researching books that might be up my alley. I love a good mystery and a mystery read on a quiet beach seemed like it could be just the ticket to help me relax.
I always give my kids a deadline to have their Christmas lists to me and that deadline would be past before we left. That meant I would be able to start Christmas shopping while he was learning diligently at his conference. I took each list, as I do every year, and turned them into a printable spreadsheet, with plenty of room for notes, money spent, and a description where necessary. Never having been to Virginia Beach I was excited at the idea of exploring new little shops and finding surprise treasures for my family and friends. I even heard there might be outlets where I could spend a day getting all of the basics from their lists. You know those things they need, but aren’t necessarily that exciting, like underwear and socks. Who am I kidding, I love to shop, and I love to find the perfect gift for someone. I was getting more and more excited as the trip grew closer.
When we were about a week away, I asked my husband what time we would leave. This led to a lengthy conversation where I found out he had signed me up for the conference. I wasn’t going to relax, or walk on the beach, or shop, or any of the things I had envisioned in my head. I became a pouty little baby. My first response was one of wonder. Why would he sign me up for his work conference, that was completely not in my wheelhouse? Why would he not tell me sooner? After a few minutes to process we had a long talk and started planning the trip together.
A few days prior to this my husband was put on an antibiotic to treat an infection. The day after our conversation he started complaining about his knee hurting. That night He woke me because he couldn’t get comfortable. After a little internet search on the website of the manufacturer, I found out he was having a side effect from the medication, and it was most likely causing the pain in his knee. The bad news was he had taken another dose before bed. By morning he was miserable and called the doctor. We actually weren’t sure at this point if we were going to be able to go on the trip at all, as he was in substantial pain and having trouble walking.
Twenty-four hours off the medication and he was actually more comfortable standing than sitting. So, the question was, could he sit for five and a half hours in a car. We had to make several stops for him to stretch, and the drive ended up taking seven and a half hours, but we made it. About a half hour away from our temporary home we stopped for a quick bite. We ended up at New Realm Brewing and had the time of our lives. The place was amazing, inside and out. The pizza was some of the best I have had and to top it off they were playing music bingo that night. Picture themed bingo cards including, 70’s, 80’s, country, and classic hip hop. There were short snippets of songs in each of these categories and everyone was guessing and singing along the entire time we were there.
The home we stayed in with 6 other people was absolutely a blessing and after all that time in the car I couldn’t wait to just relax. Everyone who arrived before us helped us unpack when we arrived. We sat and visited for a short time and then went to bed. It was probably the most amazing nights sleep I had in months…I was exhausted.
In the morning I said a prayer and was reminded of what my daughter said before I left. She said whenever she had to do something she didn’t want to do I would tell her to go into it with a positive attitude and make the best of it, and by that simple change in mindset she would have a good time. So, I spent the morning changing my mindset. I was away with my husband without the kids. I was staying in an amazing home that was anonymously donated to this group of individuals who love to help others. I could hear the ocean waves hitting the beach and see the ocean from my bedroom window.
The first day was amazing! I realized that all of my fears, concerns, and apprehensions were based on expectations and the advice I give my kids was actually good advice. Isn’t it usually the case, our expectations are what cause disappointment and frustration. If I hadn’t had any expectations, I wouldn’t have been so stressed. For the rest of our time, I had a blast getting to know all of my housemates.
My husband and I went to sessions together, had lunch just the two of us and enjoyed discussing what we learned on the car ride home every evening. After our first full day, we all met for dinner at a Mexican restaurant that had amazing food and even better service. I can usually tell how good a Mexican restaurant was by the chips and salsa that are brought to the table before dinner starts. This was some of the best I had ever had; crispy, warm chips and slightly spicy salsa…yum! Then we all went home and had a poo tournament, which yours truly won, undefeated (no clue how that happened). The last night we made a steak dinner for one of the other housemates for his 70th birthday and he couldn’t have been more touched by everyone’s act of kindness. After dinner that night we all sat around and told stories and connected.
This trip turned out to be an amazing time to be an adult and spend time with the love of my life. As much as I love my children, sometimes it is important for my husband and I to spend time just the two of us. It actually makes me a better mom when I recharge my wife-battery!
Read other articles by Mary Angel
